This blog article is a parody, please treat it like this ;) 

Blog comments are one of the few ways we can interact: bloggers and visitors. We can share similar experiences with the ones the author is presenting, we can promote our blog with that link, we can meet other interesting bloggers and in the end socialize in a very educated manner.

We all love blog comments. We write and hope people like our articles. We cherish their input and hope we can get as much feed-back as possible from the people who visit our blogs.

As a blog commenter one can distinguish from others in a good or unpleasant way. Here is a “twisted” article, a mock if you want, teaching you how to make sure the blogger will hate you and probably even ban you afterwards. Of course, do the opposite and you’ll really get near his/her heart.

1. Write a 3 letters word: lol or something more: cool.

All bloggers spend valuable time creating interesting messages and trying to offer the best they can in information. They absolutely love it when, after a 300 words article, all you can say is “ha” or “cool”. Why bother create a normal message and really adding up to the blog entry? A simple “hmm” will do the trick.

2. Tell the blogger he’s an idiot or a liar

We write from our experience and knowledge and we work as much as we can into presenting all the details as accurate as we can. We present the reality as it is and go crazy with pleasure when you come and tell us on our own blog how big arses we are and how much we lie.

3. Just throw a random message without even reading carefully

Who cares we talked about apples and you’re commenting on oranges? Why bother read a long article when you can just write something there. If it really doesn’t help the article or is off topic, who cares? There’s someone else to clean the mess, you just be cool and comment.

4. Link to at least 10 projects you have or anything you need to promote

Of course the comments are a place to plug in your links. Are you crazy? Who cares the links are too many? Who cares they don’t have anything to do with the subject? You do have to promote those scam programs or some sites, don’t you? So .. what are you waiting for? Just link link and again .. link ..

5. Put a horrible name as author.

Don’t sign your comments as dojo or wtricks for instance, or another name you’d normally use. Only geeks do this. You need to be the best, easy to recognize and worship: use a curse word, or even more, something disgusting and offensive. If you can mock at the blogger who created the article with those horrible words, you’ll make sure he never forgets you.

6. Write more .. 10 consecutive comments is what we aim for

Don’t stop with 1 comment. Make 5 or even 10 in the same article, by using the tricks we have presented earlier. This will surely make the blogger ban you and your entire country IP’s addresses. If not, he’s too mellow, time to do all of this again and again.

Filed under: Blogging by ramona