I was watching an episode from Monk last night (I know, it’s a geeky series) and there was something that really made me think … a new motto: “Leap and a net will appear“.

It does sound like those “self help books” that most of the time don’t say anything, just mix some ideas all over again in the hope someone will take them seriously. The change is in us all and most do have some reasons for being as they are. It’s a good idea to try and inspire people to have faith in their own strength and this is one of the merits of such books.

Let’s get back to the “leap and a net will appear” idea. It’s so nicely said and so difficult to make happen. What are we supposed to do? Just leave everything behind? Try something totally new no matter the costs? Do and then think? ‘Come what may’?

I was never this type of a person, even if I did have my share of “leaps”. Right now I am working in 2 areas I never dreamt I’d get, ignoring all the schooling and even my previous dreams, because, once you find a way, it’s a pity to not take it just because it’s something different from what you’ve prepared for.

Three of the most important “leaps” I made are related to current jobs and .. a car.

10 years ago I was a high-school graduate. Have been studying a lot to be a kindergarten teacher, had tens of practice hours and was gifted. Still, after finishing and preparing for college, I almost gave my folks a heart attack. I wanted to work in the media, have been dreaming about this for 4 years already.

We had to take an exam to be able to get hired in the kindergarten or primary school. I never went to get tested, since I knew I’d get a good result and I’d have to consider this career too. Imagine my family’s happiness. I wanted to ‘leap’ into the radio business, but I was unsure. Then, one day, I heard a new radio was going to open in town. I was 20 at that time and this was the lower limit for them (age wise). I just went to hear the requirements and the interview and voice tests date.

It was a huge step. Didn’t want to expect anything, just went there, got all the info, got back for the interview, the test and then .. I got the job. It’s been almost 10 years and my first huge leap was a success.

The second big move in my life was getting my small web design firm. It’s a HUGE step, especially when you’re not rich and there are lots of “ifs” and “buts” along the way. My first site was made in 2002 (march) and after some weeks I got hooked. It’s an addiction if you want to call it like this. Each moment I am awake I have ideas, strategies, feelings related to the Internet and my creations.

For some years I just kept it to a “hobby” level, even if it was clear to me this is again something I’d do for the rest of my life. But getting to the business stage is risky, there’s money to spend and problems to expect. I WAS SCARED.

Just toyed with the dream for years. Saying  “I am thinking about getting my own firm this year”. Yes, I have been saying this for at least 4 years. And then it hit me. “If I don’t do ANYTHING, I’ll just have this as a new year’s resolution each year and get to be 80 and still not the owner of my small web design firm.

The big move came pretty fast after I started WORKING on this idea. First I started asking people around: I have coleagues at the radio station who also own small companies and drove them insane with all the questioning. In some weeks I knew ALL I need: how much money, what kind of accountant services, any hidden fees, legal issues, EVERYTHING.

Since I was still short of some money, I saved for 2-3 months and then contacted an accountant, paid, signed, went to the bank for the firm account, did some more signing and then .. I had my firm. It wasn’t hard and I could have done it 4 years ago.

We now get on an even more personal level, as I’ll tell you about the latest big leap: my car. I had a thing for the new Opel Corsa (a good car for me as a woman, it’s fast, looks amazing .. doh, I am a designer in the end, I care about this .. doesn’t cost THAT much as compared to other bigger brands and in the end it’s my dream car). I know people go crazy over Mercedes or Ferrari, but I know my limits and dream to something I could afford. So this was the car I was dreaming of day and night. I was short of money (again) so the only way to have it as fast as possible was to pay for a part of the price and then on monthly rates.

Sure, lots of contradictory information and stories. Half an year passed and I was still thinking about it. One day I just had enough with all the “fairy-tales”. I just went to the company selling them in my city and got all the info: pricing, optionals and their price, rates and all the information.

Got back to the dealer in few days with all the paperwork done, the funds were transferred from my account to theirs, I signed 10000 times for all kinds of things and in few days I was driving my dream car.

As I said: I don’t leap too often and I understand why some people won’t make the next step. It’s risky, it’s changing our lives, it’s something that scares us. I was able to still “leap” after having my small set of “rules” and maybe they’ll help you too:

• you’ll never leap unless you know all you need. Instead of just day-dreaming get all the details. Once you know what it takes, the leap is easier
• after knowing everything prepare all the things you need. You have already planned (step 1) andknow can focus on each of your steps
• think well, but don’t overthink. I won’t be able to understand people who think about something for months/years. Life is too short. You need minutes (or seconds in some cases). Just get the info and make a pro/con list. THEN decide and forget about any coming back.
• once you decided to “leap” DO ALL YOU CAN do succeed. And never ever look back. Even if it’s hard, don’t despair and don’t regret. You thought about it. You made a decision, don’t regret it. Again, life’s too short to fill it with regrets.

This leap can mean a change in your career (a new workplace or maybe your own firm), a new area you might develop your skills in .. everything. As long as you are not reckless, there is no reason to not try it. Even if you fail, you have lept. And this means experience and a dream you tried to achieve.

How many times did you “leap”?

This article will be more personal than others, so please bear with me.

I am poor. I live in a poor country and my teen age years were hard and ugly. My family (father and his parents) would barely make the ends meet each month and they made huge efforts to keep me fed and in school. In my family being a good student was the only thing the kid had to do and they were very strict about this. They knew that only studying hard I would have the chance to maybe have a better life. A good job maybe and money in the future. Not huge riches, but at least a decent living.

We couldn’t afford too many things back then. I recall I used to wear the same pair of jeans for 2-3 years, I had very few pairs of shoes, mainly casual-sport ones (since they lasted longer and I could wear them anywhere). Shopping for clothes was always unpleasant: I had to be careful since I knew the next chance to get something new would be in 3-4 months the soonest.

The moment I finished school, I went to a radio station and started working as a DJ. For a total beginner and a “kid” compared to others, the first year was horrible. I used to work for 8-10 hours on the air (can’t understand how I made it) so that I can show them I am of some value. I wanted to learn all I could about music and in 6 months I became one of the best from there, even if I was a paria  months ago.

I worked through college too, happy to be able to earn something to help my family and also pay for my studies. The wage was pretty small, but it was already better than before.

After some time I decided it’s a good idea to get a second job. I was still on the radio and would earn twice the money at an advertising firm. I was the one to do most of the work there and this helped me learn more about running a business.

One year passed and I was ready to move on. A new radio station opened in my city and I went there. The wage was quite good (as much as both previous jobs would pay me together). So, I was once again on a better deal.

It was clear to me that working for others is a good deal, but the best deal for me at least would be to manage my own business. I saved some money and 1 year ago I started my own small web business. As I mentioned in another article: it’s a small venture, but I earn quite well. I work all day long, all weekends, I am again tired all the time, but it does look pretty nice.

In my case the only way to fight poverty was to just look for something to do. Something to bring me money. A bad job at first (since I was a beginner with no experience), then more experience, better jobs, maybe 2 at the same time or a job and a business as I have now. My financial numbers look pretty nice now. I earn enough now to be able to pay for my new car, for any food I feel like eating, I can now buy clothes when I see something nice and even save some more. I can also take care of my grandma and father and try to make them forget: “we can’t afford this now”. Well, we can now afford good meals and even some home-improvements. And we can visit our relatives or just drive outside the city in our nice car.

I was never interested in mentioning about my poverty. When we were really poor, I felt ashamed about this. It never occurred to me to whine about this. I didn’t want people to know I have no money, even if it was obvious.

I have coleagues and friends who like to boast about their financial problems. Some are indeed in dire straights, others just like getting the attention. They like others to feel sorry for them, it seems like this gives them a weird pleasure.

Such people don’t think about HOW to change this, they are content with their situation and accept their fate. And it’s so wrong. The best thing we can do is just work more, cut expenses, try to understand where do we go wrong and try to think about solutions. Just whining and contemplating a bad situation won’t solve this. Sure, realizing you have a problem solves half of it (at least that’s what some say), but half is not ALL.

I know so many people who fight for a better life. I even read some blogs about this and I have a huge admiration for them. They don’t “brag” with their poverty, they do something about it.

For my coleagues (some just can’t adjust to my new situation) I had one word: “WORK! You see me earn some more than before? What’s stopping you? Try to see what you are good at and make money from it”.

It’s not a shame to work, it’s a shame to just whine and expect miracles. Sometimes we make our luck. Or at least we help with it.

I have noticed something I don’t really like. Poeple call me a lot. We put aside the calls from my web design clients or my radio coleagues .. they are entitled to call, in the end it’s job and business.

The problem I see is with the poeple who claim to be friends and just like to call to get help. Some are unhappy and want some advice. Advice is free, I like dispensing it .. Some call for money loans. That’s not something I like since many don’t know my number for months (they don’t bother call at all), but when they have a problem, Ramona is again good.

Money changes how people relate to you. When you have no money your friends seem to be scarce. There are few people out there who love you just because you are a nice person in the end and they like your presence. Many don’t want to be “friends” since there’s nothing they can use from you.

Wait till you do start having some money. Wait till they hear you are doing well, have a good wage, maybe a side business and there are some more dollars you make each month.

That’s the moment people want to “befriend” you … they seek your presence, get mad at you because you just have no time for them (I have family and 2 close friends. That’s it. I do make time for them, but not for the others) .. they cannot understand that those jobs actually take a lot of your time and the little spare time you have you’d like to spend with the REALLY CLOSE ones.

These “friends” cling to you and just won’t let go .. it’s hard to make them understand they are not your friends, at least you do not see them as this. They are just people who started getting interested in you more out of a sudden, because of your better life and paycheck.

I am sure many of you had such friends.

So .. I think my title “When someone’s in deed, you’re a friend indeed” might actually make reason.

.. think about this.

Hope you can watch it at least 20 secunds, I wasn’t able to pass this time. I just cannot imagine humans CAN BE THIS CRUEL. What kind of a monster can one be?

The idea came from a Romanian blog I usualy read. You cannot understand the text, but he links us to this shocking video.

I was never a fan of fur coats, I never bought any and I don’t like them in the end. Now, even if I might be attracted to an expensive one (at least just to look at it) I’ll have these shocking images in front of my eyes. It’s enough to make you hate them for a lifetime.