It’s time for me to step on some more sensitive toes in a topic we all love to discuss: running your own business.

Every “self-help” or “business” site tells us that the “man” we’re working for is the devil, “9 to 5″ is for losers and there’s nothing more exciting than being your own boss. Many of our parents were pleased to just have a nice job and just ignored all the drama, many of us want “more” from our lives and expect to do well.

One of the things some employees day dream is their own business, with their own employees they can “abuse”, just like their boss is doing to them. Some do have all it takes for success, while others just run from a bad working environment and want to have their own “toy” to play with.

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I have been running forums for 6 years now. Started as a totally “noob” admin and made my way by learning all I could about forum scripts, modding the skins, adding plugins etc. I made mistakes and was able to learn a lot at the same time. Never wanted to depend on anyone, never knew how to sum up my “courage” and bug others to assist. All the “do it yourself” thing was good in my case .. from a brand new web designer with no knowledge (not knowing where to add some Java script code in the page for instance, or create a banner in Photoshop) I got to owning over 30 sites and having a small web design firm. And, at the same time, found out that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

I am not saying all these to brag (yet again), just to get something straight. As much as I didn’t like asking all people to do my job, I dislike people who come and bust into my private life EXPECTING me to do their work.

My main webmaster forum is up for almost 4 years. It’s a small and friendly community, with some amazing members and some kids who are an inspiration. 4 Years ago I was one of the few crazy admins to let 13 year old kids run my community (as moderators). Sure, they don’t have too much access to the real stuff (I never let another admin), but still, if they wanted to do damage, they could.

No, they didn’t do anything wrong, in fact they are still the pillars of the community and have grown into amazing young men. At 13 they were already coding in PHP, something I still don’t since I don’t have the time or willingness to learn this. I was always amazed seeing kids get so serious in such heavy business and by themselves. These kids were resourceful, wanted to learn all they could and all day long they’d buzz with I don’t know what code or SQL command.

From them I learnt a valuable lesson: DO IT YOURSELF while also look for guidance. My community taught me to not be ashamed to ask for tips when I get stuck, because in the end it’s a community, but never be too lazy to apply the knowledge myself. NO ONE is willing to do your work and it shouldn’t be like this. I would go and ask them for guidance, then try on my own, get stuck again, ask again and repeat till I was able to solve this. Everytime I put my mind into something I was able to solve it. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Some time ago, the biggest issue I met as a forum admin, was trying to merge 2 forus. My women forums “ate” a smaller one and I really wanted to make the 2 run as one. Even if there were 2 forums running on the same script (phpBB 2.0), they were modded differently (I had installed tens of plugins, as I usually do) and there were some HUGE issues.

I worked for an entire week. Trying to merge, even to fix the faulty code I was able to get from the official forums. Took me more than 100 hours of serious work, database deletion, re-population, making mistakes, deleting again and so on. It was the first time in my life I thought “OK, now this is somethign I won’t be able to do”. And still I wanted to do it. And guess what .. after 1 week and way too much cursing, I was able to integrate the second forums and welcome my new members.

Never did I think about letting others do my job. Sure, if I wanted, I could pay and have it done. But asking someone to do this for me FOR FREE was never an option for me.

Because I know how busy I am and how much it makes me angry seeing people sit on their b..tt and expecting me to do their work. I am always available for some hints, I can google together with you (maybe I get some better results), I can guide you as much as I can, but I will never do your job.

It amazes me how fast people think it’s OK to let others work for them. Or take anything for granted. I started a promotion on my Romanian webmaster forums (I give 5 hosting/domain accounts based on points received by posting) and was shocked to receive messages from people .. something like this:

Hello dojo. I need a domain. Can you please give it to me? I don’t want to lose time posting, I just need it fast.

Yeah, sure, you have to post some messages and even this is too hard for you. Why not take the shortcut? Why bother make any effort at all, when you can get it for free (or at  least think you can get it?)

There are still people coming and asking for me or others to install a script, install a plugin, why not even create a unique skin for it? They won’t put any effort into their site, but expect to earn at least as much as Chow does for other people’s work. No, it never occurs them to pay for the job, they are just expecting someone else to work.

I know we’re speedy. I know people want to start earning money from their sites the day before yesterday if possible, no one things about tomorrow. No one wants to pay for anything, but they all expect any problems to be solved by others, who should be as stupid as to do this.

All I was able to accomplish and all I can still manage to succeed in needed WORK. My own working hours, sleepless nights and reading thousands of articles, tutorials and tips. I tried to solve issues, asked for hints and then got back to the drawing board. Nothing comes free, nothing comes without work. Everything you do and learn will be useful one day. Maybe this is why I never cheated at any exams. I tried to learn and take them, never relied on others to do my papers, never relied on them to “whisper” something during the exams.

There is a fine line I think. One needs to also get over one’s pride and know when to ask for help (I try to), but also be ready to apply all the knowledge and solve the issues. Unless you are paying someone big bucks to design a site or implement a script, you could as well try to do these yourself.

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

My main motto is another one (wherever you go, go with all your heart), but I think this one is also a good one. Try and fail, and learn from your mistakes. It will make you a better web designer, a better forum manager, a better person. We all make fun sometimes about the “do it yourself” slogan Nike made popular. Sure, we think about many things (even sex related), there are bumper stickers mocking a this. The main idea is to just grab the bull by the horns and start solving your problems. See what’s not working, ask for hints and then try again.

I think it’s a way of life. And once you learn how to NOT depend on anyone, you’ll be free. And success will follow.