Make money online
Friends and relatives - to work with them or not?
I started my small web business 2 years ago. I had to save money for few months to be able to pay for all the taxes to establish my small “web entity” into a real business one. Work was hard, as it still is, but the results started showing. My family had some more money for the every day life, while I was able to spend some more online to get better hosting plans, maybe a new script for a new site etc.
As you can imagine most of the people who knew me started getting ideas. The ‘best” one came from a relative who doesn’t even call to tell me happy birthday when he should do this, but who was interested in getting into MY business as soon as he heard about my new status.
As an associate.
Yes, we all laughed ourselves senseless after hearing he’s “willing” to come take 50% of the profits in my firm, started on my own money and of course kept going for months already on my own work.
After having a good laugh about this I told my cousin he migth work in my small firm only if he started knowing CSS that well as to make him a good addition to my “team”. Of course the “what’s that” that followed made me realize hiring him anytime soon wouldn’t be an issue anymore.
Many business owners complained about having bad deals or making not so good employees out of relatives or close friends. In many relations people are not able to see the difference between “OK, we’re working now” and “let’s have some fun, as friends”. From the moment your employee doesn’t see you as the boss but as the pal who’s “playing boss” it all goes downhill.
My experiences were good or bad. I had some bad clients out of friends and this made me more careful in the future. Even if I might come with a better price for them, getting my money from these clients is now a priority. “Fool me once ..”
As far as working with friends go, I had only one experience. A very good one, with my closest friend, Adi. We’ve known each other for many years and we are both “manly women” so to say. Without the hysterical moments some women might have, telling each other if there’s a problem and still having a good understanding of our limits and business obligations.
Working together on some of my projects was always a nice experience and the fact she is a good reliable person made the experience a success.
As my small firm will grow, I might consider hiring one of my friends or relatives (not the cousin who was shocked about CSS). I do consider there are some things I should have in mind, so that the overall experience would work:
1. I need to make it clear who’s the boss
My cousin wanted to be an associate, even if he didn’t contribute a single buck to my firm. If I was to hire someone I know that well, we need to set it straight from the start: I own the thing, I am in charge. YOU will be my employee. Can you live with this? Cool, then we go further.
2. Work is work and fun is something else
I tend to be a very relaxed person. I am not that demanding and this shows. We all need to realize what tasks need to be fulfilled. If you’re not competitive, you’re out. A bad employee makes me lose money. We can work together as long as we make the distinction between play time and serious business.
3. I don’t require less from a friend than from a total stranger.
In some cases I might be a bit more understanding with my closest friend for instance. But, if that person will work with me a visible progress is needed. I might hire my friend and give that person some time to grow and meet all my expectations. Still I want that friend to be QUALIFIED for the job and to make serious progress all the time.
I would hire my cousin, since he was the first example, if he took the time to learn web design. I might be a tad understanding at first, since he’d be a beginner, but I would expect him to make up for the things he’s not that prepared. And do it fast. I can always use a good employee, who’s learning fast, but a bad one would drag my firm down.
4. The quality of that person is VERY IMPORTANT.
This should be the first condition: I need quality people. We all have relatives who are not the best people around, even some of our friends lack certain qualities. My best friend was for me an excellent partner in some of my online ventures since she’s an amazing person. I was able to leave her ‘the keys’ to my entire network, all hosting accounts (with all my clients accounts) and not fear she’d do something to hurt my business.
Too many friends expect to get away with less quality work and mistakes, because of the special bond they have with you, but this would only harm the business and that relationship in the end.
5. All cards on the table from the start.
In such a possible situation, hiring a good friend or relative, all requirements should be known from the start: both parts should know what is expected from them and how the business relation should work.
In this matter all contracts and deals should be run in a correct official manner. Any “let’s chill about this, we’re friends in the end, we’ll work it out” migth bring up bad situations: the friend doesn’t do his/her part of the job, is not pleased with the payment, considers he/she should have a better position in the firm etc.
Telling my relatives from the start: “I want him to know this to work with me. He will be my employee, I will pay him << this >> and expect him to cover this area of our business. I am the employer and the boss, since it’s my own firm and I am the only associate in the “company” ..” was a very good idea.
At last they realized I won’t hire him just because we are relatives and that he needs to treat the job as any other, where he doesn’t have such a bond with the owner.
If (by a miracle) he starts knowing HTML and CSS and all I need him to know to delegate some of my own work, he’d know from the start all the aspects of our work together. It will surely save me some future headaches.
Many of my friends who are also business owners advise me to not hire close friends or relatives, because of the so many bad stories out there or experiences they had. I try to keep an open mind about this and not ignore the possibility. But I will try to be cautious though.
Have you ever hired some friends or relatives? Have you done business with them? Was this a good or bad experience? Do you against this?
I was at the other end of the gun, so to say. A couple of years ago, my grandma got me a part-time job at a real-estate business just starting up, of course because of her relationship with the manager. My “task” was to maintain their website and help with any other computery problems they had.
Partly it was their fault - they never knew exactly what to ask from me, and when they did, it was clearly outside my knowledge; however, knowing the guy, I was lenient with myself, so after a month it became clear that things were not going well.
So, yes, establishing things clearly from the beginning and not caving in is a good way to save yourself from future headaches, and also save your potential employee a shameful exit from the premises.
I prefer get someone who knows what to do
This is very sound advice. Of course, it all depends on the individual concerned, as you so rightly say, but it’s vital that everyone is clear from the start what is expected, on both sides. Otherwise it can become very awkward. I hope you’ll visit my blog - I’ve not had a visitor from your country before!
I work with my brother in his business and he says that it is satisfied with me. I have a greater willingness to trying because my brother is the owner and he is not anyone. I think that it is better to hire a friend or relative in your company, provided that you know that he or she is a valuable employee. Relative will always be more work than others.
IMHO, Don’t hire or involve any friend or relative in your business. I did this 2 years ago and it was very bad experience which I’ll never do again. I had to teach her(she is my cousin) hard and at the end I got nothing, even worst. After that sad happenings, I always prefer to hire people from outside and they never let me down for their services.
When I started my internet marketing career. All my relatives were my enemy. They always discourage me to leave it. Now majority of them want me to get them trained. I hate them all from core of my heart so can’t even think to involve them in my business.
Hey Dojo,
I had the same issue you had (I am from Romania, Cluj-Napoca). In January, I’ve built a webhosting company with one of my closest friends, and now after 4 months everything gone down the hill. He took money away from me, he caused me problems, and now we are about to break the company. I do not recommend this to anybody.
Best Regards,,
Tudor
I would never work with family or friends, especially if the positions were unequal (ie. one manager and one not). I am sure it would cause some sort of conflict that’s not necessary, and likely impair the quality of the work.
YES! I AM AGREE WITH U,WJEN SOMETHING UNIQUE THEN EVERYONE MUST TRY IT,SO WHEN I TAKE A CHANCE IT SHOULD BE UNIWUE.
It sounds like a good advice! Managing a business is already hard work; so managing a family as well …Just a question: what will happen if you are not happy with your Cousin’s work? Will you have the same reaction than you would have with another employee?
There are pros and cons. I am not sure about working with friend but onething for sure if working with family is you will get the guarantee of family loyalty..
I’ve found working with friends can be a great thing. This only remains true if the friends have an obvious preexisting work ethic. Knowing who you are getting into business with is crucial. I could never see myself working with family and plan to always keep them separate.
Working with friends and relatives can definitely be a problem if they don’t see the difference between “work you” and “friend you.” They have to take you seriously like they would any boss, and that’s hard to do if you’re friends or relatives. They often think they’re entitled to special treatment, and this adds up to a bad situation.
my friends who are also business owners advise me to not hire close friends or relatives, because of the so many bad stories out there or experiences they had. I try to keep an open mind about this and not ignore the possibility.
I can tell you, working for family can get sticky. In the past, I did some editing for my father, while he was getting his PhD. I was working on my Masters at the time, and the load was unbelievable…but felt because it was my Dad and he did so much for me through my life, I had an obligation to finish it!